David Berkowitz and chickens

DAVID BERKOWITZ
The dog made the chicken cross the road

BASHO
The chicken steps out
Frost covers the path we walk
Along the asphalt

JERRY SEINFELD
And what’s with chickens crossing the road? Are they thinking “Boy I would love to cross this road?” Is it some kind of chicken marathon? “Hey look at me crossing this road…It’d be safer for me to fly across this road.” And what is up with airplane food?

MEL GIBSON
Occifer, I swerved vecause that shicken was….crossing in my road…way over that road…Jesus was killed by the shnickens.

JIM JONES
The chicken was going to a warm tropical locale; get the Kool-Aid ready.

SAUDI ROYAL FAMILY
Ha, ha, ha…..your chickens have to walk because oil is $122.89 a barrel!

MARC ANTHONY
Friends, Romans, Countrymen, lend me your wings
I come to assist this chicken across this road
Not to roast it.

PETE ROSE
5 to 1 that chicken doesn’t make it across the road..he’s on our team?...make that 7 to 1.

C. EVERETT COOP
I have concluded that it may be hazardous to a chicken’s health to cross this road.

SIMON COWELL
That was THE WORST crossing of a road I have ever seen. Are you suffering from nerve damage in your feet? I am rather disgusted, really!

MALCOM X
The chicken didn’t land on this side of the road, the road landed on that side of the chicken.

J. EDGAR HOOVER
Pull the file on that chicken, and pull its feathers too, I think I need a new boa.

TUPAC SHAKUR
That chicken crossed the road because even though he was run-over a week ago, someone still makin’ money off these jokes!

EDDIE VEDDER
CHEEEEE-con, here he go he gonna cross the ro-oo-oo-OAD.
WAAAAAL-kin, across the road there he go arcoss the pa-hav-MENT!

GARY COLEMAN
What you talkin’ bout chicken?

ARNOLD SWARTZENAGER
Loook aht dows gurly cheekens, I gonna keek them een there gurly behinds.

JESSICA SIMPSON
Won’t that chicken die or something if it’s out of the water too long?

KAYNE WEST
That chicken crossed the road to hear the greatest musician in the history of the world.

KARL MARX
The history of the chicken has been marked by its alienation from that side of the road.

NIETZSCHE
Chicken is dead.

MARGARET MEAD
Whats all this fuss about chickens crossing the road?

MOSES
Ramseys, let this chicken go!
OR Witness the power of the Lord! (as the road, or course, splits in two…you know how it goes)

MICHAEL MOORE
The chicken crossed the road because there is better health care at a much lower cost to taxpayers on the other side and Charleton Heston is just creepy.

DAN QUAYLE
No, I’m sorry. The chicken crossed the r-o-a-d-e.

JOHN EDWARD (of Crossing Over)
The chicken crossed the road because I am seeing an M, M is it an M? Someone in your past has an M in their, is it name? An M, an M&M, you have eaten an M&M in your past and someone is trying to…hold on I feel sadness because you…hold… you know that someone has died in your past and they want to, wait….there is a vowel coming out it’s an I….A….E…O…U…please don’t forget that Y is still a vowel on the other side. You are crossing over because you need to eat M&M’s at the Y!

BOB DOLE
The chicken crossed the road because Bob Dole knows where that chicken should be. Bob Dole crossed that road when Bob Dole wanted to and Bob Dole knows what to do for his erectile dysfunction. Does the chicken have problems with his pecker? Bob Dole knows what to do.


STING
That chicken can cross the road ALL NIGHT LONG

OZZY OSBOURNE
Mmmmm blam bluba bluba when that bloody chicken gits ere I’ll bite its wreched head’off! Sharon!

RICHARD GERE
Are chickens really that much bigger than gerbils?

THE BUDDHA
The path to enlightenment is on the other side of the road.

CONFUCIUS
The chicken that crosses the road halfway has only half of his journey under way.

SNOOP DOGG
Fo’ shizzy my chizzy aint no thing but to do the…(cough, cough)….. walkizzle over to this side-izzy

AMELIA EARHARDT
Leaving this side of the road….we must be on you but we can’t see the other side……

ALLEN GINSBERG
I saw the best poultry of my generation destroyed by overcrowded coops, starving hysterical plucked, dragging themselves across roads at dawn looking for an angry punch line; Coxcombed headed hipsters burning for the ancient heavenly connection to the starry dynamo in the machinery of headlights and automated processing machines.

WILLIAM WILSON
Here lies a Rhode Island Red
Who caught his death under tread.
A good chicken is ne’er forgot
Whether he die by motor or in a pot.

LARRY CRAIG
The chicken didn’t cross the road at that point to meet me, he simply had such a wide stance that his feet rubbed mine, then he tugged on my pinky after I made three clucks which I did not know indicated that he wanted to hold hands.