Dancing in the elevator

I think I have written about dancing before. I realized that I do the majority of my dancing in the elevator. Where I work there is no accessible men's room on the 4th floor. So it is a short ride down to 2. In these brief moments I am able to do a little dancing.

I usually begin before the doors are even fully closed. That's the carefree spirit in me coming out. On a side bar, I like to make funny faces too. As the doors are closing I'll, at the least, stick out my tongue or snarl. This is usually directed at no one. If I'm feeling more surly than normal, I'll even fly the bird, moving my outstretched arm in concert with the door. I think everyone needs to flip something off occasionally or snarl and grunt at imaginary monsters. The same goes with dancing. It is purely coincidence that all of this take place while I am riding the elevator.

So back to the dancing. Since I am limited by time, and space (although some would argue that the elevator has limitless space and that time is only quantifiable because we limit it too in terms of space) my gyrations are rudimentary and hurried. The majority of my dances begin with several fast arm pumps. These could be simultaneously straight out and back or downward, alternating like a robotic jackhammer OR a combination of both. Sometimes I will put both hands behind my head, interlock my fingers and shake head and arms together.

Usually my knees are bent and my feet are stationary.

Now I know white guys get made fun of for not moving their feet when dancing, but remember, this is all taking place in an elevator.

However, my hips do considerably make up for this lack of stepping. I can shake my pelvis in almost all of the 360 degrees available in one plane and arc to nearly 50 degrees in the transverse. The classic 'banana rocker' fore to aft is the standard. Or I do enjoy the 'boat rocker' left to right (similar to what Conan does at the open of his monologue, however, and I mean no disrespect to Mr. O'Brien, I don't need to use imaginary string to make my hips move). These two basic moves can be greatly varied by tempo, frequency, degree and intensity.

All of these variables, randomly assorted as best as I can, keep me entertained for nearly 4 seconds at least twice a day.

Like an ox

Man-alive! It's been twenty days since I last posted. I guess I've been busy at work. I spend less time diddling and dawdling on the computer, so....well, I guess I'm actually being more productive.

Yesterday over coffee, a friend (while discussing how busy/not busy we each are) quoted his boss "What's your work ethic like?". This was posed during an interview. I hate interviews. How would you respond?

I am not the best assessor of my own work. I take pride in my work, but like a methed out squirrel I can go from task to task, leaving somethings to be completed later. Once I was...look there goes a cop an a Segway...I wonder what dinner is going to taste like...my work review is soon...I hope the Internet is working later...

But when I'm on, boay lisssen! I can knock out some work. Talk about living in the moment. If the wind shifts I might find a new task. Now I wouldn't say I have a poor attention span. On the contrary, I can focus intently; often conjuring up great patience.

Like these damn posts...I start with an idea and it tends to fray into something else. But really I am hungry.

My girlfriend's iPhone

Inspired by http://andiferguson.blogspot.com/

My girlfriend got a new iPhone a few weeks ago. Like my girlfriend it's fancy and fun. You can find satellite pictures of my parents house in about 15 seconds, surf the web, look at youtube videos, and even call people with it. It plays music and can simultaneously tell you the time in Karachi and Des Moines. However, my girlfriend can cook a mean eggplant casserole in less than 30 minutes, waasssup iPhone!?!


Yesterday her car was burgled. Yikes! Her work laptop, back-up drives and iPhone were all stolen. Aside from the feelings of invasion, powerlessness and fear I think she came through unscathed. Resilient.


This is all wonderfully logged at http://andiferguson.blogspot.com/


As her blog hints to, some of us have an "addiction to being on the grid". Uh, yes. Constantly checking to see if I've missed a call. Making sure I sent that last text message to the right person. I even hallucinate and feel my phone buzz in my pocket, usually while driving, then lift my butt up, straighten my legs, dig into my pants pocket, to make sure that I did not miss that call that did not come through......


Am I an addict? On occasion, during the last few weeks I have accidentally left my phone at home. I'm not much of a morning person, so I can easily run out last-minute and forget to grab it off of the charger. As I speed away I usually do a 'once-over' to check to see if it's all there. You know, I have to be honest, I didn't really freak out about it. Now, I don't have an iPhone. I have an older Nokia flip-phone. It doesn't even close all the way. It is so ugly and beat up that it has "don't waste your time stealing me" all over it. But, still it has all my digits-in-it, and work numbers etc.

I've heard people say "I just need some rest...I just want to get away from it all for a minute!"
Turn off your damn phone. You'll get the message later. And do you really need the Bluetooth? (to be continued)


And this has made me think: "Are we better off now because of our hyper-connectivity?"


Sure we can read blogs, find old friends, research causes, support ideas, but has this made us smarter? More caring and considerate? More empathetic? Wait!! Are these really the things that are important? Am I using my own rubric to evaluate life? Maybe advancement (?) is measured in how many friends you have reconnected with via the Internet, or how many blogs you support. I dunno....


Are we really connected? Has the value of communication depreciated and cheapened? Or is it more accessible, more democratic?


It has just made me think.


My girlfriend's iPhone is fancy. But I enjoy talking to her vs. texting.

My dad's honkin'

About 15 years ago, while riding on the back of my dad's Yamaha, we cruised past some picketers in front of a factory.
"Toot-toot!" as he blew the bike's horn.
"Why did you do that?", I loudly asked over the wind and engine.
"To give them my support"
"What were they picketing for?"
"I don't know", he said, "But anyone who is willing to stand-up for something they want and believe in could use a little support"
He continued in his very deliberate, often too methodical explanatory style, "It doesn't mean necessarily I support their cause, but I will support their right to support it"

It took me a while to digest that. Years. But it has become a part of my values today.
I find it abhorrent when demonstrations, protests or simple dialog is censured, truncated or prevented because it may not be popular. Even when a supposedly crazy evangelist is preaching on the street corner. Don't shuffle him off, let him testify.

The KKK always wants to put up a cross on our fair city's square during the winter holidays. Do I agree with the KKK? Hell no! Do I think they should have the right to display goofy crap at Christmas? Absolutely. I guess the KKK's argument is that a local Jewish federation puts a menorah up during Hanukkah, so why not us?

In college there was a "Crazy-preacher-guy" who would stand in front of the student center and, well preach. He alway drew a nice sized crowd. He was afterall entertaining. He was a little to the right. Anti-gay, anti-drug, rock-n-roll, the usual. So, I went off on him one day, admittedly mocking him, but in protest to what he was saying. It kind of stunned him. No harm done. A few minutes later the fat campus police (sorry, ad hominem) came by and told him he had to leave. I was dismayed. "He doesn't have a permit", they said. I wrote a letter to the school paper and invited some of the other groups on campus to support his next demomstration. It never happened.

A few years ago Neo-Nazis were planning a parade through downtown. It was eventually cancelled due to fears of rioting and uncontrollable protests. Maybe it was a wise choice, but I would have loved to have been on the sidelines, cussing and screaming, booing and hissing all the while supporting and protecting the right for it to happen.

I don't want to let fear of what I don't like (or you don't like) prevent me from having the opportunity to evaluate and choose.

I have no idea

It is too easy for me to sit here and make up some moderately amusing posts. I landed on this blog and it caught my attention. Beautiful pics. Poignant.
http://jedidiahsnovelties.blogspot.com/2008/09/ike.html

How smart are you?

I just overheard someone on the phone ask "Hey Joe. You're a smart guy, right?"

Now how would someone respond to that?

"Well actually I am not very smart Susie. You see I don't even know what this thing I am using to talk with is called....a snorkel? How does it work? Are you trapped inside of it? Hello Susie? My third grade teacher told me I wasn't going to amount to much but I didn't really have time to listen because I was too busy gluing pencils to onto my elbows. I can't really talk now Susie I need to go make a peanut butter and jelly shoehorn. It's going to take quite some time to find the recipe on Google because I don't know if shoehorn is a compound word or not."

In today's news

I skimmed over the local paper today. The frontpage. Three separate pictures of McCain, Obama and Bush. The quotes above the first two were in regards to the scheduled debate between the candidates. McCaine believes it must be postponened to attend to the economic crisis, Obama thinks a president should be able to multi-task.



McCain No deates 'until we have taken action to address this crisis'

Obama 'Presidents are going to have to deal with more than one thing at a time'

The third quote above Dubya's picture read 'We're in the midst of a serious financial crisis'

It should have read 'No, I prefer 2% with my Frosted Flakes'